1. The phone rings; who don’t you want it to be?
Almost anyone.  I don’t like talking on the phone at all.  In fact, absent a specific and sustainable purpose, I find it senseless for a conversation with someone less than 20 miles away to last any more than two or three minutes.  The telephone is a means, not an end.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes.  Moreover, if I see someone leave one in the middle of the parking lot, and I’m in the right mood, I’ll embarrass that person.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
It depends.  If it’s a business setting, definitely more of a listener, though I talk when I have something to contribute.  In a more casual setting, about half and half.  I talk the most when what I’m saying is receiving the ongoing approval of women in attendance.

4. What was the last compliment that someone gave you?
I recently received a professional compliment concerning a human relations effort I’d made that was noticed.  I appreciated it.

5. Do you play the lottery?
Never.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, who would you want with you?
This is not enough information to answer the question.  Do I have any idea where I am?  Is it a forest?  A desert?  A grassland?  Who abandoned me?

7. Do you like to ride horses?
That I can recall, my complete equestrian experience consists of being on a led pony for about three minutes, when I was 8 or 9.  I’ve never felt any drive to ride a horse.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
I went to YMCA Day Camp a few years.  It was fun.

9. What is your favorite party game?
Probably Pictionary, but I absolutely cannot drink when I play it, as I become socially unacceptable.  I’m excellent at Taboo.  I’ve never lost at Balderdash.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
Of course not.

11. When was the last time that you lied?
I can’t remember.  I try pretty hard not to at all, but I’m sure I tell a minor one of convenience once in a while.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
It depends on how different.  I was never very good at casual dating, so most of the time I began evaluating a relationship for marriage potential fairly quickly.  Then the question becomes “could you marry someone…”  Off the top of my head, I doubt I could have married an atheist, a satanist, a Muslim, or anything involving worshiping nature as a deity.  I also don’t care for vague “spirituality.”

13. If you have a S/O, who pursued who? If not, do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I nominally pursued Lea, I suppose, but we were ready to be together, so it wasn’t like there was a lot of drama.

14. Use six words to describe yourself.
Loving father, husband; humbly following Christ.

15. Name a song that could make you cry.
“Down from Dover” by Dolly Parton rips me completely to pieces.

16. Are you pleased with your education?
I am in that it’s been part of what’s enabled me to have a rewarding and lucrative career.  There were a lot of other degrees I’d have enjoyed for their own sakes, but that wouldn’t have had as much earning potential.

17. How do you feel about gun control?
I want everyone armed to the teeth.

18. If your house was on fire, what thing would be the first thing you grabbed?
Children.  Duh.

19. How often do you have a romantic weekend?
The whole weekend?  We haven’t done that since before we had the boys.  We’ve been getting better about date night, though.  Our church youth group making itself available for babysitting once a month has helped that effort quite a lot.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Definitely the present, as it’s requiring more of me than it has in quite a while.

21. What was the last adult magazine that you have read?
I’m sure it was Playboy.  Couldn’t tell you when.  Year ago?

22. What are you told about your eyes?
The last great thing someone told me about my eyes was that there was no evidence of retinal damage from my (formerly) untreated hypertension.

23. How tall is just right?
I have no opinion.

24. Where is your dream house located?
I’d love for it to be the case that you turned onto my property and had to drive another mile to get to my house.

25. Do you have a secret fetish?
Sure.  Several little ones, and one big one.

26. Have you tried bourbon? If yes, what type?
Bourbon is my drink.  Unless you’re a fairly serious connoisseur, it’s a safe bet I’ve tried any bourbon you can name.

27. Have you ever seen a male or female stripper?
My most memorable stripper experience was shooting Crown Royal with one until 3 in the morning when I was in Atlanta on business about ten years ago.  Her name was Holly, she was spectacularly gorgeous, and she was eating dinner with her boyfriend, who was the director of security at the club where she worked.  The three of us drank and laughed until we closed the place.  Wow, did I ever have a headache the next day (you know, like five hours later).

28. When was the last time you were at TGI Fridays?
I met Saintseester there a few months ago.

29. When was the last time you were at church?
Sunday.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Work.

31. What was your favorite job?
I hold it now.  I am a technical writer.

32. What condiments do you like at your BBQ?
Depends on the barbecue.  For pulled pork, I like a touch of white sauce, some vinegar-based slaw, a good shot of black pepper, and a lot of dill pickle chips.  For ribs, I like a thicker red sauce.

33. Bud is hosting Thursday Thunks this week. Will you play?
I have no idea what this means.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad.

35. Who was the last person that you showered with (it’s okay to leave out the name)?
Beyoncé.

Related posts:

1. Saturday night questions and answers From cajunvegan.  Forgive me.  I know questionnaires are cheating.  I’m...
2. 47 questions for Friday night Boosted from Fighting Windmills, a new favorite of mine.  She’s...
3. Answers on books Both of my co-hosts have done this one, and I...

Really.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes.  Several.
Been arrested? No, though twice in my life I couldn’t believe I wasn’t.
Kissed someone you didn’t like? Not that I can recall.
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes.
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes; latter
Held a snake? Yes.
Ran a red light? Yes.
Been suspended from school? No.
Experienced love at first sight? No.  “Want to see you naked” at first sight?  Yes.
Totaled your car in an accident? I had a few wrecks in my adolescence, but I don’t think I ever wiped one all the way out.  So, no.
Been in a vehicle at more than 100 mph? Yes.
Driven a vehicle at more than 100 mph? Yes.
Been fired from a job? No.
Fired somebody? No.
Sang karaoke? Yes, once.
Pointed a gun at someone? No.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes.
Kissed in the rain? Yes.
Had a close brush with death (your own)? Yes.  When I was 15 I was thrown from the bed of a pickup that overturned in a drainage ditch at about 65 mph.
Ever feared for your life? Yes, during the time between leaving the truck bed and hitting the pavement, which I remember very well.  If I could pick one memory to erase forever, that might be it.
Seen someone die? Yes.
Played spin-the-bottle? Yes.
Sang in the shower? Yes.
Smoked a cigar? Yes.
Sat on a rooftop? Yes.
Smuggled something into another country? No.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No.
Broken a bone? Yes.  I broke my right pinkie toe once.
Skipped school? Yes.
Eaten a bug? Yes.
Sleepwalked? Yes.
Walked a moonlit beach? Yes.
Ridden a motorcycle? Yes.
Dumped someone? Yes.
Forgotten your anniversary? No.
Lied to avoid a ticket? Yes.  I got a ticket anyway.
Ridden in a helicopter? No.
Shaved your head? Yes.
Played a prank on someone? Yes.
Hit a home run? No.
Felt like killing someone? No, not really and truly.
Cross-dressed? Yes.  I went in drag to a Halloween party once.
Been falling-down drunk? Yes, though not in many years.
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes.
Eaten snake? No, but I would.  Just haven’t had the opportunity.
Marched/Protested? Yes.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? Yes.
Puked on amusement ride? I don’t think I’ve ever actually puked, but I don’t do well on Tilt-a-Whirls or on anything else that continuously moves on multiple axes.  I love roller coasters.
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? Yes.
Been in a band? Yes.
Knitted? No.
Been on TV? Yes.
Fired a gun? Yes.
Skinny-dipped? No.
Gave someone stitches? Yes.
Eaten a whole habanero pepper (or other hot peppers)? Yes.
Ridden a surfboard? No.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes.
Had surgery? Yes.
Streaked? No.
Taken by ambulance to hospital? Yes.
Tripped on mushrooms? No.
Passed out when not drinking? No.
Peed on a bush? Yes.
Donated blood? Yes.
Grabbed electric fence? No.
Eaten alligator meat? Yes.  Love it.
Eaten cheesecake? Yes.
Eaten your kids’ Halloween candy? Yes.
Killed an animal when not hunting? Yes.
Peed your pants in public? Yes.
Snuck into a movie without paying? No.
Written graffiti? If writing on a desk is graffiti, then yes.  If it has to be a wall or a bridge or something, then no.
Still love someone you shouldn’t? No.
Think about the future? Yes.
Been in handcuffs? No.
Believe in love? Yes.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes.  Lea is to my left.
Have a tattoo? No.  Never even considered it.
Have a piercing(s)? Not anymore.

Related posts:

1. A few Friday questions and answers Did one of these posts fairly recently, but I really...
2. 47 questions for Friday night Boosted from Fighting Windmills, a new favorite of mine.  She’s...
3. Answers on books Both of my co-hosts have done this one, and I...

1. What is the color of your toothbrush?
White

2. Name one person who made you smile today.
Lea

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Eating Frosted Flakes

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Watching football

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Probably Caramello

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Just once, believe it or not.  Not my thing.  I would like to spend an evening or two in Atlanta visiting some of the nicer places sometime.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
“Y’all be careful.”

8. What is your favorite ice cream?
Chunky Monkey

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

10. Do you like your wallet?
Yes

11. What was the last thing you ate?
Tomato soup

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No

13. The last sporting event you watched?
Auburn at Arkansas

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
A splash of butter and a little garlic salt

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Tommy

16. Ever go camping?
Yes

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
No

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
Almost; I’d guess I miss three or four a year

19. Do you have a tan?
Yes

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Depends on my mood, though top-notch pizza would beat top-notch Chinese

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
If one is made available to me, I generally use it

22. What did your last text message say?
“Gross.  What kind of crackhead drinks Sunny D?”

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
Relaxing

24. Favorite Color?
Dark blue

25. Look to your left, what do you see?
A chair

26. What color is your watch?
Currently wearing a stainless watch with a black dial

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
Usually the Sydney Opera House pops in my head

28. Would you strip for money?
For $1,000?  No.  For $1,000,000?  Sure.

29.Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Drive-through

30. What is your favorite number?
Pi

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?
Lisa, I think

32. Any plans today?
Watch ‘Bama in a bit

33. How many states have you lived in?
1

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Don’t think I have any big ones.  It’s usually pretty nice being me.

35. Last song listened to?
“When Lightning Strikes,” Kiss

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Expertly

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
No

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Whatever my current pair of Costco sneakers is

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not that I can think of

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
I don’t know

41. Do you love anyone?
Yes

42. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes

43. What do you usually do during the day?
Work

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
No

45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
Yes

46. What color is your car?
Silver

47. What size wedding ring do you wear?
I can’t remember

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
Ernest Borgnine

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes, but not in a very long time (1990, maybe?)

50. How did you get your worst scar?
From a piece of glass that stuck in my lower back that I picked up in a drainage ditch when I was thrown from the bed of a pickup at 65 mph

Related posts:

1. 65 from Candy I haven’t done one of these in a while.  I...
2. Christmas miscellanea Meme from Mrs. Chili. 1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?...
3. Thinking hard with Cajunvegan Cajunvegan did this one. I liked it. How many keys...

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
I have three or four, none of which is my favorite, scattered among vehicles and haunts.  They’re all either navy blue or black.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes.

4. Do you plan outfits?
Occasionally I know what shirt I’m going to wear tomorrow.  That’s about it.

5. How are you feeling right now?
Content, but tired.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red?
A candy dish.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I can’t remember a single dream I’ve had since this one.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
No.

9. What are you craving right now?
Nothing.

10. Do you floss?
Occasionally.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Sauerkraut.

12. Are you emotional?
Yeah, I suppose so.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Not that I can recall.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Bite.

15. Do you like your hair?
I liked it more when I had more hairline, but it’s all right.

16. Do you like yourself?
Yes.  I’m awesome.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Sure.

18. What are you listening to right now?
The How It Began special on the Seinfeld DVD set.

19. Were your parents strict?
Not really.

20. Would you go sky diving?
Probably, though I have no great drive to do it.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
No.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes.

23. Do you rent movies often?
Yes, with Netflix.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
My sequined gown.

25. How many countries have you visited?
Two.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Many times.  I was part of the last generation without Caller ID and *69.

27. Ever been on a train?
Yes.

28. Brown or white eggs?
Don’t have a preference.

29. Do you have a cell phone?
Yes.

30. Do you use Chap-Stick?
Yes, in the winter.

31. Do you own a gun?
Yes.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
Yes.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My family.

34. Are you too forgiving?
Sometimes.  Sometimes I’m not forgiving enough.  I do the best I can.

35. Ever been in love?
Of course.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
I don’t know.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Yes.  Too sweet for me, but I could get one down in polite company.

38. Last time you cried?
Week before last with the boys.

39. What was the last question you asked?
“What did Nathan do?”

40. Favorite time of the year?
Autumn.  No contest.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
No.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Quite.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I don’t know what that is, so I doubt it.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes.

45. Favorite color?
Blue.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes.

47. Is your hair curly?
Not anymore.  I’d call it more wavy now (if I ever let it get long enough).

48. What was the last CD you bought?
The last download I bought was Bodyrock by Lee Aaron.  I can’t remember the last physical CD I bought.

49. Do looks matter?
Of course.  That they are often valued incorrectly doesn’t mean they’re of no importance at all.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
It depends on the circumstances.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
No.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Very much.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No.

54. Can you handle the truth?
Usually.

55. Do you have good vision?
No.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I try not to walk around with strong negative feelings about anyone day to day.  I would say that of the people I don’t like as much as other people (heh), most of them are on the list because I find them disingenuous.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Daily; a little more in the morning than other times of the day.

58. The last person you held hands with?
Lea.

59. What are you wearing?
My favorite pajamas.

60.What is your favorite animal?
Tough to top my cat right now.

61. Where was your default picture taken?
In my living room.

62. Can you hula hoop?
No.

63. Do you have a job?
Yes.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
A Subway club on wheat.

65. Have you ever climbed through a window?
Yes.

Related posts:

1. 50 from Beth of the West Haven’t done this in some time, so I hope you’ll...
2. The randomness meme From Organic Mama: Do you have any special talents? I...
3. Thinking hard with Cajunvegan Cajunvegan did this one. I liked it. How many keys...

1. I have never seen a James Bond movie from start to finish.  I’ve watched pieces of probably two-thirds of them, but they’ve never engaged me at all.
2. I had a pet piranha for eight years.  His name was Stan.
3. I still miss the car business sometimes.  I made $800 in 30 minutes once.  ‘Course, I also made $800 in December 1993.  Highest of highs; lowest of lows.
4. The most unexpectedly pleasant place I have ever traveled is Cleveland.  The most unexpectedly unpleasant place I have ever traveled is San Jose.
5. I did not smoke marijuana until I was 25 years old, and only did so then with a trusted friend to satisfy my intellectual curiosity.  She and I discovered that I am among a small percentage of the population who reacts to it psychotically.  I went to a black, paralyzing, hallucinatory place for about 15 minutes, and have never been more terrified in my life.  I came out of it right before my friend called 911.
6. I once drove a Z28 to an indicated 147 mph.  When I happen back by the stretch of road where I did it, I note how little room for error is present and am aghast at the depth of my stupidity.  Thank God Charles Darwin sleeps late some mornings.
7. I have seen Cheap Trick 14 times.  Charles and I can be seen in the audience on Silver, the DVD set of their 25th anniversary concert in Rockford, Illinois, in August 1999.

Here is the fourth photograph from my fourth folder of photographs:

I don’t usually tag folks, but feel free to boost.  Let me know if you do.

Related posts:

1. 45 miscellaneous things From Saintseester: What’s your name spelled backwards? How about my...
2. 55 questions from Morgan Boosted from Morgan, a bud of Mrs. Chili‘s who just...
3. Two things I’d change I like these questionnaires that float around, commonly called memes....

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?  Man, is there ever a lot of money to be made with this turn of events!

When was the last time you flew in a plane?  October 2007

What did the last text message you sent say?  K

What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?  Self-confidence, strong character, intelligence, wit

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?  I am going to apply myself, calling upon every reserve of strength I have—every fiber of my being—and finish this beer.

What is your shoe size? 12

Have you ever been to Mexico? No

When is the last time you had a massage? I have never had a professional massage, but Lea is good at working on my neck when it needs it.

What was the last TV show you watched?  Georgia Tech 41, Miami 23

What are your plans for the weekend?  Tomorrow:  Changing oil and transmission fluid in Lea’s van in the morning.  Watching football in the afternoon.  Taking Lea out for her birthday, if everyone is well enough to go.  Sunday:  Church in the morning, and don’t know after that.

If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?  Yes

What is in the back seat of your car right now?  Nothing

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?  Driving to work

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?  Harley Jane Kozak

Have you ever been to a strip club?  Yes

What is the best ice cream flavor?  Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey

What is the last sporting event you watched?  Georgia Tech 41, Miami 23

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message to on myspace/facebook?  Carrie

Have you ever been camping?  Yes

What did the last text message you received say?  let u know how it goes

Where is your mom right now?  Heaven

What color is your watch?  Current watch has black dial with silver bezel, and it’s on a black rubber strap

Who did you last talk to on the phone?  Lea, I think

Are you allergic to anything?  Cats, though I acquire substantial (but not total) immunity to specific animals

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?  Whatever pair of <$30 athletic shoes I have most recently purchased at Costco (Edited:  I had a hit from costco.com on this post less than three minutes after it went up.  That says something impressive about that company.)

What is one thing you have learned about life recently?  To temper certain kinds of expectations

Do you own an iPod?  Yes

Do any of your friends have children?  Yes

What do you do at work?  Write software documentation

Who was your last kiss?  10 minutes ago

How did you get one of your scars?  I have a two-inch-long scar on my lower back from a piece of glass that I picked up in a drainage ditch after being thrown from the bed of a pickup at 65 mph or so.

What is your mom’s name?  Judy

Are you ticklish?  My ticklishness has waned considerably.  Probably I’m still most ticklish on the roof of my mouth.

Have you ever cried for no reason? There is always a reason. (Fighting Windmills’ answer retained)

Have you ever broken a bone?  My right pinkie toe

Do you have any piercings? I had a pierced left ear for two or three weeks once; none currently (or ever again)

Have you ever changed clothes while driving?  Not that I can recall

Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit?  Yes; I have two young children

What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald’s?  Probably a sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddles; damn, I love those things (unfortunately).  (And a black coffee.  McDonald’s actually has pretty good coffee these days.)

Can you do the Crank Dat dance?  I don’t know what that is.

What is your favorite color to wear?  Blue; crimson and white

What is the longest plane ride you have ever been on?  Not very long.  Chicago to San Jose?  Nashville to Vegas?  4 hours, maybe?

What is the longest road trip you have ever taken?  Point to point:  Williamsburg, VA to Huntsville, AL, at 725 miles.  In one day:  Madison, AL to Ocean Springs, MS and back, at 817 miles.  Most on a single itinerary:  Huntsville, AL, to Atlanta, GA, to Panama City, FL, to Orlando, FL, to Eufaula, AL, to Huntsville AL (honeymoon).  1,891 miles total.

What are your turn-offs?  Willful ignorance; overreaction

What was your first alcoholic beverage?  A sip of my dad’s beer, which probably would have been a Miller High Life in the gold can

What was your last alcoholic beverage?  Budweiser American Ale

What are you craving right now?  The weekend.  Good thing it’s here, eh?

Related posts:

1. Saturday night questions and answers From cajunvegan.  Forgive me.  I know questionnaires are cheating.  I’m...
2. A few Friday questions and answers Did one of these posts fairly recently, but I really...
3. 55 questions from Morgan Boosted from Morgan, a bud of Mrs. Chili‘s who just...

My favorite age: This one is pretty damned good.

My best friend(s): Lea, Charles, and my dad.

My celebrity crush: Tori Amos could turn me into a quivering bowl of Jell-O with one look.  Mary McDonnell could Mrs. Robinson the hell out of me.  I might go comatose in the presence of a provocatively-clad Beyoncé Knowles.

My defining characteristic: My freakishly large, yet unexpectedly caressable, penis.

My most evil moment: I stole $80 once.

My favorite food: Pasta.

My grossest injury: On July 12, 1986, I was ejected from the bed of a Ford Courier pickup that rolled over while traveling at approximately 70 mph.  You know how when you were a kid, you fell down and skinned your knee?  Imagine that on three-quarters of your back.

My biggest hatred: Willful ignorance.  It’s not even close.  If you can’t learn something, I have sympathy and shall accommodate.  If you won’t learn something, then fuck you.

My most illegal activity: Gonna go with the $80 (see above).

My need for justice: I have a long view here.  I’m not big on vengeance in general, believing it to be, on balance, more destructive to the seeker than the desired recipient.

My most knowledgeable field: Probably technical writing, though it might be tropical fish.

My life’s goal: To raise two loving, productive, sensible, and self-actualized boys.

My mother’s influence: I’m old enough now to have taken most of the good and discarded most of the bad.

My nerdiest point: As one member of two 4-person teams, I once answered 9 out of 20 toss-up questions in a Scholars’ Bowl round.

My oldest memory: I remember the floor plan, the carpet, and the linoleum of an apartment we moved away from when I was 18 months old.

My perfect date: Really, when Lea’s there, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing.  My closeness to her is such a blessing.  I could not have predicted the depth of my affection for her in our twelfth year of marriage and fifteenth year of being a couple, but I’m so thankful for it.

My unanswered question: How much chocolate frosting did that take?

My random fact: I can remember every single telephone number I’ve ever had since I was 2 years old.  There are 23 of them.

My stupidest decision: Starting smoking.  No contest.  (As of this writing:  One week, four days, 5 hours, 36 minutes and 34 seconds. 247 cigarettes not smoked, saving $43.25. Life saved: 20 hours, 35 minutes.)

My favorite television show: Six Feet Under is the best show ever made.  The Larry Sanders Show is the second-best show ever made.

My style of underwear: Briefs.

My favorite vegetable: I really like a whole lot of vegetables to an equal degree.  Pressed for one favorite, I’d say mushrooms.

My weakest trait: Feeding the physical self (see smoking, above; also gluttony).

My X-men power: I don’t know enough about the X-Men to answer intelligently.  I apologize.  I’m sure I’m hemorrhaging pop-culture points with some substantial percentage of my readership.

My strongest yearning: The hope that I’ve not waited too long to try to salvage my health.

My moment of Zen: Realizing that goals (read: destinations) are fine, but that being able to look at yourself in the mirror contentedly day to day is worth a hell of a lot.

Related posts:

1. Answers on books Both of my co-hosts have done this one, and I...
2. 50 from Beth of the West Haven’t done this in some time, so I hope you’ll...
3. 65 from Candy I haven’t done one of these in a while.  I...

1. The phone rings; whom do you want it to be? I don’t enjoy talking on the telephone recreationally.  I’m generally looking to make plans or exchange information (such as at work).  “I just called to talk” is not in my vocabulary.  That said, I’ll enjoy an occasional longer conversation with a faraway friend or my sister.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Yes, without fail.  Unless I’m in a huge hurry, I’ll also return an abandoned one on the way in.  Who the hell do you people think you are?  I’m not above embarrassing you if I see you do it, either.

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you? Yes.

4. Do you take compliments well? Usually.

5. Do you play Sudoku? No.  I’ve worked enough of them to get the gist, but they don’t grab me.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Probably.  I think I’ve done enough survivalist reading, just in the interest of prudent living, to give myself and my family a decent chance.

7. Do you like nipple rings? No.  In general (man, I’m sure throwing around the qualifiers tonight), I don’t care for any piercings except ears.  I love multiple ear piercings on women.  My favorite is two “conventional” piercings in each ear (so she can wear a dangly and a stud on each side), and then a few more up the outside edge of one ear (very hot).  Once in a while I will see a nose piercing that I find vaguely becoming, but I can’t recall ever seeing anything else that turned me on.  I think belly buttons are really sexy au naturale, and have never seen one improved by a piercing.  JPEGs welcome, if you think you can change my mind.  My email address is to the right.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I went to YMCA Day Camp (four full days; sleepover the fifth) a few times, and have positive memories of it.

9. If a sexy person were pursuing you, but you knew he/she were married what would you do? Nothing.  (Masturbate?)  Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I have a particularly severe view on infidelity.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes (well, if I were dating).

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I enjoy them each in different ways, but I’d give a slight tilt to being pursued.  I love aggressive and self-confident women.  I’d say it happened both ways with Lea.

12. Use three words to describe yourself at the moment: Relaxed.  Quiet.  Happy.

13. Do any songs make you cry? “Morningside” by Neil Diamond.

14. Are you continuing your education? No.  If I’m ever really set financially, though, I’m going to get all kinds of degrees that I wanted but feared wouldn’t keep me warm and fed.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? Yes.

16. If your house were on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? My children.

17. Who was the last person you shared a bed with? Lea.

18. Whom do you text the most? Probably Saintseester or Mrs. Chili, but we don’t text often at all.  I’m not a big texter.

19. Favorite children’s books? Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White.  Most anything Judy Blume ever wrote, with particular props to Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.  My Penguin Osbert by Elizabeth Cody Kimmel.

20. What color are your eyes? Brown.

21. How tall are you? 5’10″.

22. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you? No.  It’s too good now.

23. Any secret admirers? I don’t think so.

24. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Not that I can recall.

25. Where is the farthest place you have traveled? San Francisco.

26. Do you like mustard? Yes, particularly on ham sandwiches and egg rolls.

27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Well, I’d probably have to say eat, looking at my disaster of a profile.

28. Do you look like your mom or dad? I can see both, but probably a little more like my dad.

29. How long does it take you in the shower? Six or seven minutes.

30. Can you do splits? No.

31. What movies do you want to see right now? I still haven’t watched American Gangster, mainly because I haven’t had the time and been awake enough to do it at the same time.  That’s probably on top of the stack, but it’s a big stack.

32. What did you do for New Year’s Eve? I have no idea, but it was probably a quiet evening at home.  I’ve felt no pressure to have special plans for New Year’s Eve in years.

33. Was your mom a cheerleader? I don’t know.  I’d guess no.

34. Whats the last letter of your middle name? S.

35. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? Usually about 7.  It’s nearly impossible for me to sleep any longer than 9.

36. Do you like Care Bears? I have no opinion.

37. What do you buy at the movies? Popcorn and Sprite.

38. Do you know how to play poker? Yes.

39. Do you wear your seatbelt? Yes.

40. What do you wear to sleep? Usually underwear; sometimes PJs; sometimes nothing.

41. Anything big ever happen in your town? We have a lot to do with spaceflight ’round these parts.

42. Is your hair straight or curly? It’s curly, if I ever let it grow long enough.

43. Is your tongue pierced? No.

44. Do you like liver and onions? Not particularly, but I could eat it in polite company.

45. Have you ever been in love? Yes.

46. Do you like funny or serious people better? I like very funny and very serious people who know when to be each.

47. Ever been to L.A.? No.  I care not one whit about setting foot in southern California.

48. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Pay.  In fact, I’m nearly finished working back through my list of downloads from the old days of Napster and purchasing legal copies, a buck here and a buck there.  However, many of them aren’t available for purchase.  (It really pisses me off when companies sweep things like YouTube and have things removed that I couldn’t buy even if I wanted to.  You hear me, Viacom International?  You go ahead and yank it, but by God, tell me where I can buy it.)

49. Do you hate chocolate? No.  I enjoy chocolate, but I don’t find it any more remarkable than any number of other sweets.

50. What do you and your parents fight about the most? I don’t fight with my dad.  The last fights I had with my mom before she died were about her proper role in my adult life and marriage.

51. Are you a gullible person? I can be, in some circumstances.  I’m the first guy to fall for a gag from a friend.  But in a worldly sense, I don’t think so.

52. If you could have any job, what would it be? Chess grandmaster.

53. Are you easy to get along with? Very, but I’m picky about who gets really close to me.

54. What is your favorite time of day? 1:37 on Saturday afternoon.

55. Are you a generally happy person? Most of the time.

Related posts:

1. I lit my lamp and went searching for a few questions… What do you most hate about modern life ? Hyperconnectivity,...
2. 47 questions for Friday night Boosted from Fighting Windmills, a new favorite of mine.  She’s...
3. Saturday night questions and answers From cajunvegan.  Forgive me.  I know questionnaires are cheating.  I’m...

How many keys are on your keychain?

I don’t have one all-inclusive keychain. I keep my keys in several different locations. They are stored contextually, and it works well for me.

If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint?

The patchwork of my soul.

What do you regard as the most repulsive form of music?

I can find something to like about just about any music that is performed well. I wouldn’t go all the way to “repulsive” for anything, I don’t think.

Whose mind, besides your own, would you like to control?

No one’s. I’m still working on my own.

What is the most dangerous occupation?

Actuarily, shuttle astronaut is on up there.

What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed?

Pee.

What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind?

Complacency.

If you could project yourself into the past, where would you go?

Do I get to do it over and over again, or just one time? If the former, I’d choose a week ago. If the latter, I’d go to opening night at the Globe Theatre in 1599.

What are you thankful you are not doing right now?

Vomiting.

What is your favorite kind of candy?

Wild Cherry LifeSavers.

What is your favorite thing about the beach?

Sleeping within earshot of the surf.

If you were invisible, where would you go?

Everywhere, but I’d start with the women’s locker room. Sorry. (shrugs shoulders)

What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own?

Xanadu on DVD?

Fill in the blank; When I dance, I look like …

A goofy white guy.

Who is one person you wish you would have never met?

When I worked at Madison Books & Computers, I once talked to a customer who had the most unbelievably irritating nasally voice I have ever heard in my entire life. It was all I could do to keep from running away from him. I’d say that guy.

What is your favorite fruit?

Banana.

What is your favorite kind of cookie?

Warm, soft chocolate chip.

If you were an evil dictator, where would you rule?

Butte, Montana.

What do you need to get right now at the drug store?

Nothing that I know of.

What song do you keep hearing over and over again?

I have whistled “Pennsylvania Polka” at least weekly ever since I saw Groundhog Day.

What was the happiest age of your life?

Every day is pretty damned good, so I’d say I haven’t been there yet.

What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own?

I don’t have favorite clothing.

What two words describe your lifestyle?

Happy, regimented.

Which ocean creature fascinates you most?

Narwhal.

On a scale of 1-10, how religious are you?

In the usual sense of “religious”? Maybe a 2.

What historical figure would you most like to have a discussion with?

Thomas Jefferson.

What color looks best on you?

Royal blue.

What is your favorite thing about being sick?

The guiltless DVD-watching.

What’s new?

The week.

Why are you here right now?

Because I enjoyed these questions when I read them at lunch.

What commercial do you find most annoying?

I don’t see enough commercials to have a most annoying one.

What was your favorite meal growing up?

Probably spaghetti.

If you had to spend the rest of your life in one place, where would it be?

Definitely the South.

Fill in the blank: I am so much smarter than …

98.4% of the population.

What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s?

I’ve never left them.

What is college really good for?

Improving the quality of your life.

Where is the most beautiful place you have ever been?

I keep coming back to the look of the water 35 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico.

What body part aches you the most right now?

Nothing’s hurting at the moment.

When is the angriest you have ever been?

I don’t know. I’m not generally a dweller.

What do you waste your time doing?

I’ve been playing Tetris again lately.

On a scale of 1-10; how much do you trust people?

Just people in general? 1.

If you were forced to choose your own death, how would you die?

I don’t care, as long as it’s after my children are self-sufficient.

On a scale of 1-10; how photogenic are you?

2.

What aspect of your personality could use a little work?

Impatience.

What is your greatest addiction?

Wristwatches? Gadgets?

What issue are you sick of hearing about?

The price of oil.

If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be?

God of Thunder.

What language would you like to master?

Russian.

What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant?

Kung pao chicken.

Whom would you least likely expect a phone call from?

I don’t wish to say the name out loud, because I don’t wish the phone call.

What is the longest you have ever gone without a shower?

I don’t think any longer than two days.

What is the saddest movie you have ever seen?

Apocalypse Now.

What time do you usually fall asleep?

11 or thereabouts.

Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?

Any government office.

What is the cutest animal on Earth?

Pretty tough to top a puppy.

Name one celebrity who has no right being a celebrity.

The way this question is worded, there is no correct answer. No “right” being a celebrity? That doesn’t make any sense. We choose them all.

What hobby have you always wanted to pick up?

Unicycling.

Related posts:

1. 50 from Beth of the West Haven’t done this in some time, so I hope you’ll...
2. 65 from Candy I haven’t done one of these in a while.  I...
3. The randomness meme From Organic Mama: Do you have any special talents? I...

1. Who are your favorite authors?
I tend to be work-centric and not author-centric when considering favorites, but I’ll say George Orwell and Isaac Asimov.  Stephen King is popular because he’s damned good.  H.P. Lovecraft and Philip K. Dick are rapidly closing on favorite status.

2. What are your favorite books?
1984, The Stand, Brave New World, and The Fountainhead.

3. What kind of books do you tend to read?
I love science fiction and horror.  I love to grab classics of American and English literature that I’ve never read (and that’s a long list).  I enjoy non-fiction as well, generally about business, philosophy, or technology.  I read an occasional biography.  I’m building an affection for history.  I started The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich in college and didn’t make it, and I’m picking that up again soon.

4. Do you prefer to borrow books from the library or buy them?
I buy them (unfortunately).  There are 11 books in my to-be-read stack that I own, and one at the top that I have borrowed from my friend Mark.  Also, The Book Thief arrived today.  That’s for the next Dark and Stormy show.

5. Do you prefer hardcover or paperback?
I like a hardcover with a dust jacket because of the built-in bookmarks, but I have no real preference.

6. What was the last book you read? What are you reading now?
The last book I finished was 1984.  I’m currently reading Solomon Among the Postmoderns by Peter J. Leithart, and will start The Book Thief by Markus Zusak tonight.

7. Do you read everyday?
No.  Most days, though.

8. On average how many books do you read per year?
I read one a month for my club, and probably five or six above that.  So, 17 or 18.

9. Do you belong to any book clubs?
I am a co-host of the Dark and Stormy Book Club, a splendid construct consisting of a blog and a monthly Internet radio show.  (Is this the third link to it in this post?  Go check it out, dammit.)

10. Recommend a good book.
Well, of course I’ll recommend all of my favorites.  I broke a date to finish The Stand.  The Fountainhead changed my outlook on life.  1984 is profoundly chilling.  Brave New World is what we’re headed for next, if 1984 doesn’t consume us first.

The most recent fresh read to blow me away was Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Related posts:

1. Bookstore junket We all went out for Mexican tonight, and stopped by...
2. Books this year You know, I said no resolutions, but this probably counts....
3. Dark and Stormy Book Club: what are you waiting for? The Dark and Stormy Book Club is a year old...