How to make your penis cost you $200 million

I was going to stop at beating up on Tiger Woods a bit with a bullet, but that was before the ranks of his alleged skank harem swelled to such a preposterous degree.  Surely now I would be remiss in ignoring it.

Doubtless he had a golden boy image, and that’s a damned hard thing to live up to.  Many with it don’t keep it.  There’s an odd fight at a dinner club, or dude blows a .14 on Mulholland at 3 in the morning, or something.  But wow, Tiger Woods has an insatiable appetite for trashy waitresses and porn stars?  Who could have even made that up?

Or is the magnitude of the problem evidence that I shouldn’t make fun, because clearly, the poor man has a disease, and therefore isn’t in control of his faculties?  I mean, nothing’s anyone’s fault anymore, right?  Everyone knows that.

Or is it all a load of crap?  We’re up to 11 women claiming to be his mistress now.  Surely they aren’t all lying, but maybe most of them are.  So what if only 2 of them are telling the truth?  Would that be a low enough number for him to just be an asshole and not a sociopath?

So the concept of a faithful marriage is up for another high-profile beating, but hell, that’s not news anymore.  No, the real news is loss of endorsement income.  What’s his libego ultimately going to cost him?  $100 million?  $200 million?  More?

A colleague had a good thought today, though.  Maybe he can recover some of it pitching Trojan and Motel 6.

Enjoy what you’ve wrought, Tiger.  Your media lash-out notwithstanding, you have made this for yourself.

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